Too many eponymous people, not enough paragraphs

Found through a technorati “vanity” feed:

So Schools back in finally and i still hate it after the first day. Good part for me is i get out at like 11:00 everyday. Even thou half the time im prolly gonna go to my internship all the way down in G-Town!! Lots of gas for a man who offically has $20.38 in his bank account cause i havent worked in over a month. Yea i know but i work 2 days this weekend thatll put a tank of gas in me hopefully maybe a movie budget too. Anyhoo like all my classes overall alg 2 is kinda borin but i got DavidAscher n Bonecrusher in my class, and AP Euro is a pretty sick class im happ with whos in it cept that damn eron rublic lol whos gonna try n take my seat now but no one is the back there likes him. And English is OK Got KO n L-Zig but therei n the front n its me n Sad chillin n the back with Anila who i can already tell where gonna be like a triangle of friends in there not that ne one cares. Footballs goin good got back at like 8:30 from Magruder from practice/ 20 plays on O n 20 on D. They were so fired up like it was a scrimage but we did blocking drills our Offensive lineman against their D guys lets just say Magruder can’t move any Damascus players n the one guy who was good enough to do it to my kept throwin my helmet down by the facemask n then pushin it down with his other hand ut i still drove his bitch ass out of there away from the QB. And then on 7 on 7 their takin knee shots at us. One guy who is chinese n retarded who we named “Bonzi Tree” chopped blocked Anderson who didnt take it lightly and started a fight next thing our two teams are in a big pile fighting unil the coache break it up. We go team Moo tells us enough of this easy bullshit i want you all to acually practice now n show em who the real champs our so we lit em up n shut their mouths pretty quick. Nothin to say now huh black kids? Anyhoo shoulders in pain again cause of “Bonzi Tree” and so are my knees from cheap shots and a stiff neck. Time to go to lunch with mommy then another wonderful day of practice for me!! Someone shoot me please!!

Boy do I feel old…

Aside: is there a better choice than eponymous people, which feels odd?

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